Why I Am No Longer a Closeted Meditator In Corporate America

Tatiana Quaife
5 min readFeb 23, 2020

I don’t understand why but talking about meditation in Corporate America is still a very big taboo.

Not too long ago, meditation was perceived by many as perhaps a religious and mysterious practice only for monks or something that weird hippies did. There was a lot of judgment, shame and misconceptions.

But now there are boat loads (yes, that’s a scientific term) of conclusive and reputable studies that prove meditation has many benefits for our physical body and mental health.

It is proven to help with anxiety, depression, heart disease, high blood pressure, pain and sleep problems. It also helps us to chill out, become more centered, self-aware, relaxed and less negative, anxious and reactive.

If all these studies are not compelling enough, there are also many very successful leaders from different industries who have shared that they too meditate and that it has been a key ingredient for their success.

This is where I name drop… Oprah, Ellen, Arianna Huffington, Steve Jobs, Kevin Feige (and the entire Marvel leadership team), Sir Paul McCartney, Jerry Seinfield, Bill Gates, Jeff Weiner and even Katy Perry are meditators.

But this post is not about all the proven data or all the famous people who meditate.

It is about my personal journey learning to meditate, the different methods I tried and how it felt to recently come out as a closet meditator at work.

It all started a few years ago, when I was only 31 and diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer. These are words you don’t ever want to hear from your doctor and especially being so young, I couldn’t help but to lament “why me?”. At the same time I instinctively knew that I could not feel sorry for myself or angry. For me to fight this thing and get healthy, I needed to learn how to quiet the mind chatter and stay positive.

So I turned to audio-guided meditations on YouTube.

You can find pretty much anything on YouTube so I would search for something like “audio guided healing meditation”, I would lay on the couch, listen, visualize and relax. Having the unconditional love and support of my family and friends during this very difficult time was my main source of energy — secondly was learning to meditate. I am happy to say that I have now been cancer free and healthy for the past 5 years!

Since then I kept reading about meditation and trying different methods. I tried the Headspace App which introduced me to a different kind of meditation — mindfulness.

I really liked how easy it was to get started and how accessible it felt to anyone. But overtime I struggled to remain consistent with the practice, life got busy again, I didn’t feel like I was “doing it right”, so I didn’t think I was really getting many benefits from it. I stopped meditating.

About 2 years ago I went down another negative spiral…

I had just moved to California for an exciting career opportunity, but after a few months, I felt very sad, anxious and guilty for having moved my family cross-country again. What was I thinking? What have I done? How could I be so selfish? Why couldn’t I just chill and be happy in Florida? How do I get back in the time-machine and undo this? Well I haven’t yet learned the Dr. Strange mystical arts so going back in time wasn’t an option, but I felt so sad and anxious that I knew I needed help. I couldn’t let myself go down the rabbit hole again for too long since last time that happened I got really sick.

After a lot of research, I decided to give Transcendental Meditation a try.

I was hesitant about it at first because it was somewhat expensive and it sometimes came across a bit cult-like, but there was a lot of compelling data and testimonials about it and again I was desperate for change.

I am SO glad I did… after 2–3 weeks of practicing TM 2x a day for 20 minutes, my anxiety had completely gone away and I started to feel at peace. I know it is a total cliché to say this but this new daily practice changed my life (by the way, I get no incentives or kick-backs for sharing this — just wanted to clarify).

As I was able to quiet my non-stop negative mind-chatter, I was also able to find happiness within.

Things just started to work out for me… I started performing even better at work, being more confident, getting bigger projects and my career took off as I was able to get out of my own way.

The change was also clear in my personal life, as I was more present at home and a more loving mother, wife and daughter. I guess in general I was just becoming a better, more well-rounded human being.

People even started to say that I had a calming presence and effect on those around me, which was such a surprise. If I shared that with my childhood friends, they would laugh out loud because I had always been a super intense, hyper-competitive and driven type-A person.

The truth is that meditation didn’t make me “lose my edge”… I was still myself… full of passion, drive and big dreams. The difference is that my desire for growth was no longer coming from a place of fear, anxiety, lack and the constant need of external validation. Instead my desire for growth was now coming from finding my true voice, stepping into my inner power and wanting to make a positive impact.

This new way of thinking and living felt freeing, empowering and energizing.

But again I still felt that being an open meditator at work was a big taboo, so I didn’t really talk about it. It felt like I was hiding this important piece of my career success secret sauce.

So a few weeks ago I took a big step and started sharing my story with my team, my real story, not the Instagram version that looks like I “have it all together”.

As I told them, I am now coming out of the Meditation Closet and being open about it. I started officially adding “Reflection Time” on my calendar when I go into my office, close the door and meditate for 20 minutes — I don’t have to hide anymore.

My goal is to break the mold of what achieving success in Corporate America needs to look or feel like. That is why I created Super Mindset — to help unleash the power of our own minds, so that we can achieve our dreams and find peace and happiness within. To learn more check out my Super Mindset Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/SuperMindsetCoach

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Tatiana Quaife

Executive at Disney. Founder of Super Mindset Coaching. Speaker. Writer. Coach. Mentor. Mother. Passionate Latina.